With tearful eyes,
He saw her going
A shadow moving away
Taking with it, all life
And in soliloquy he said,
"Had I loved her true,
she would have been mine."
(Published in US on December 19, 2008)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
FROM HIM TO HER
How solemn she seemed
And how grave
Till I stripped her off
Her toughness
And revealed
A delicate her...
As tender as an infant
As light as a frolicsome breeze
Long we sailed
In the silent sea of oblivion
But when tired and consumed
We slept and dreamt
Of each other...
Of our journey...
Of the nothingness residing within us
Of our long futile struggles
The shadows we ran after
Our unfulfilled desires
Our hollow selves
And then the eyes
That one last gaze
That completed us.
And how grave
Till I stripped her off
Her toughness
And revealed
A delicate her...
As tender as an infant
As light as a frolicsome breeze
Long we sailed
In the silent sea of oblivion
But when tired and consumed
We slept and dreamt
Of each other...
Of our journey...
Of the nothingness residing within us
Of our long futile struggles
The shadows we ran after
Our unfulfilled desires
Our hollow selves
And then the eyes
That one last gaze
That completed us.
A LETTER
As you are now
I wish you had always been
Absent from my life...
For life without you would have been
Much more easier
Far less painful
For though we share the same blood
Our spirits are estranged
Our eyes never meet
Nor cry for each other
Our afflictions are solely ours
And never bother the other
My happiness is mine alone
And has never made you smile
I often think....
When you die, will I cry for you?
Will I mourn your death?
Will I feel a loss?
For even in the world
Our hearts have been foes
Our minds poisoned for each other
You have hated me throughout
And I being a child
Born out of the fluid of hatred
Developed in an unhappy womb
Nourished by a timid amniotic fluid
And fearful blood
With tears shed before my arrival
After my arrival
And throughout my life
I have been a child of misfortune
And could therefore, not love you
But reflect hatred instead
With hatred above me
Hatred below me
Hatred beside me
And hatred inside me
What else could I give you?
How do you feel
Recieving hatred from infant hands
Created for love and cuddles?
A fear on chubby cheeks
Created for smiles and radiance?
How do you feel
Getting denial rather than acceptance?
Stab your heart in some lonely hour
Cut it open and examine it
Is there not a single soft chamber
In this fist-sized stone?
Is it all black?
Blackness comes out of blackness
And nothing out of nothing
So live as you please
A life of blackness and nothingness...
I wish you had always been
Absent from my life...
For life without you would have been
Much more easier
Far less painful
For though we share the same blood
Our spirits are estranged
Our eyes never meet
Nor cry for each other
Our afflictions are solely ours
And never bother the other
My happiness is mine alone
And has never made you smile
I often think....
When you die, will I cry for you?
Will I mourn your death?
Will I feel a loss?
For even in the world
Our hearts have been foes
Our minds poisoned for each other
You have hated me throughout
And I being a child
Born out of the fluid of hatred
Developed in an unhappy womb
Nourished by a timid amniotic fluid
And fearful blood
With tears shed before my arrival
After my arrival
And throughout my life
I have been a child of misfortune
And could therefore, not love you
But reflect hatred instead
With hatred above me
Hatred below me
Hatred beside me
And hatred inside me
What else could I give you?
How do you feel
Recieving hatred from infant hands
Created for love and cuddles?
A fear on chubby cheeks
Created for smiles and radiance?
How do you feel
Getting denial rather than acceptance?
Stab your heart in some lonely hour
Cut it open and examine it
Is there not a single soft chamber
In this fist-sized stone?
Is it all black?
Blackness comes out of blackness
And nothing out of nothing
So live as you please
A life of blackness and nothingness...
WRITER'S BLOCK
It's jumping in my mind
Vibrating in my spine
Flowing in my blood
Creating a massive flood
Here and there...
It's ringing in my ears
Knocking at my heart
It lingers....
On the borders
Of consciousness and subconsciousness
It reaches my fingertips
I listen to its yearning
And hold a pen
To metamorphose
Thought into verse
But not so soon...
My mind has been locked
It's the writer's block
Vibrating in my spine
Flowing in my blood
Creating a massive flood
Here and there...
It's ringing in my ears
Knocking at my heart
It lingers....
On the borders
Of consciousness and subconsciousness
It reaches my fingertips
I listen to its yearning
And hold a pen
To metamorphose
Thought into verse
But not so soon...
My mind has been locked
It's the writer's block
CANCER
yellow eyes
Overwork
Worry
Pale melancholy
Watery grief
Painful smiles
A tree with roots in the breast
Branches in the liver
Some leaves in the brain
And a heavy black fruit
Called death
Overwork
Worry
Pale melancholy
Watery grief
Painful smiles
A tree with roots in the breast
Branches in the liver
Some leaves in the brain
And a heavy black fruit
Called death
Monday, October 27, 2008
Labeeb's response to my letter on Marriot Attack
One missing person resurfaces – Labeeb's update at last!
AoA Ed,
I have been observing Us being chastised by the readers that it is losing its charm. I think the regular contributors of Us like Dure Aziz, Awais Aftab , Ayesha Pervez, F.D Sheikh , Kanza Tariq , Saad Javed, Iqra Asad etc., should come up to rescue Us, and should play a massive role and contribute a lot to save people running away from our dear Us. We should move more towards reality and religious and social issues. I think Edi has some strict rules for including religious issues. Edi must tell us those points which we need to consider while writing on religious issues, because I wrote an unbiased article and tried to bring all sects at one platform, but I think it has been rejected. God knows!
The issue of October 10, 2008 was good enough. Aaishah Abu Bakr's letter was thought provoking. We are in grave crises indeed. We are undoubtedly inviting the wrath of Allah Almighty. We need to seek Allah's forgiveness and we should repent our wrong doings. The government should accept that power lies with Allah and they should ask the whole nation to come out of their homes and raise their hands and ask Allah to forgive us, and should pledge to work honestly. We have everything; we just need a leader, a change, a revolution. 'Revisting the diva' was interesting to read. Shahnaz was everyone's favourite in Alpha Bravo Charlie; although the real Shahnaz is quite different from that character.
Labeeb Ur Rehman, AbuDhabi
AoA Ed,
I have been observing Us being chastised by the readers that it is losing its charm. I think the regular contributors of Us like Dure Aziz, Awais Aftab , Ayesha Pervez, F.D Sheikh , Kanza Tariq , Saad Javed, Iqra Asad etc., should come up to rescue Us, and should play a massive role and contribute a lot to save people running away from our dear Us. We should move more towards reality and religious and social issues. I think Edi has some strict rules for including religious issues. Edi must tell us those points which we need to consider while writing on religious issues, because I wrote an unbiased article and tried to bring all sects at one platform, but I think it has been rejected. God knows!
The issue of October 10, 2008 was good enough. Aaishah Abu Bakr's letter was thought provoking. We are in grave crises indeed. We are undoubtedly inviting the wrath of Allah Almighty. We need to seek Allah's forgiveness and we should repent our wrong doings. The government should accept that power lies with Allah and they should ask the whole nation to come out of their homes and raise their hands and ask Allah to forgive us, and should pledge to work honestly. We have everything; we just need a leader, a change, a revolution. 'Revisting the diva' was interesting to read. Shahnaz was everyone's favourite in Alpha Bravo Charlie; although the real Shahnaz is quite different from that character.
Labeeb Ur Rehman, AbuDhabi
My Book Review Published in US
here is the link where you can read it.
http://jang.com.pk/thenews/oct2008-weekly/us-24-10-2008/p25.htm#2
http://jang.com.pk/thenews/oct2008-weekly/us-24-10-2008/p25.htm#2
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
US
My poem "A LAND OF CONFUSION" got published in US on August 29, 2008. Here is the link where it can be read.http://jang.com.pk/thenews/aug2008-weekly/us-29-08-2008/p5.htm#1
Publications
My poem "Oh Lord" made it's way to an Islamic website's "From Our Readers" web page. Following is the link where you can read it.
http://islamtoday.com/show_feed_main.cfm?feed_sub_id=57
http://islamtoday.com/show_feed_main.cfm?feed_sub_id=57
Friday, July 18, 2008
To Be And Not To Be
As another dusk approached, I was there again on my terrace watching the heavens change their colors and the birds go back home. There is a bizarre link between man and the manifestations of nature, a subtle harmony, I thought. Whenever I am sad, I go up to my terrace alone at dusk and stay there till darkness engulfs all. I call this the “routine periodic melancholy.”
It was one of those melancholy evenings and when I reached that particular place, I fell my entity being drowned in ice-cold water. It was an inexplicable hollowness, as if some part of me had suddenly become void, vacant, and vacuous. I stood frozen, bewildered. It fell as if some unknown force was wringing my heart and draining even the last drop of blood out of it.
And then she came before my eyes, her fragrance; her warmth-I could feel it all! It felt as if she had never died, as if her death was all a dream-a terrible dream-and I wondered, how strange it is that although everyday, we hear about deaths, blasts, tragedies yet when someone very dear dies, it feels beyond reality, beyond logic; some fog, some dream, a mist, a haze! With that a tsunami of WHYS, IFS and BUTS came in my mind.
It seems just yesterday when khala lay in the ICU of the Oncology Department. Those four days were the hardest of my life. How can I ever forget her state of deep coma-no sense of hunger, pain and thirst, no recognition of dear ones-a blatant resignation to the dictates of fate, helplessness like that of an infant and above all, the doctors telling, “dua karain, bohat mushkil he.”
Something in me had told me that she won’t live long but I didn’t pay heed to such voices. With eyes full of tears, I kissed her feet, her hands, and her arms that had held me in infancy. With that came a flood of reminiscences. How we laughed together at the most weird things, how she would catch me at my words, how I would empty the long suppressed tears on her shoulder, how just one word of hers “Aaish!” would make me feel so good, how much she admired my poetry and would often say “I smell a rat in your verses” and I would just smile. Ah…that’s life!
She was my best friend, my sister, my mother, my fairy. She would often say in the most affectionate manner, “I pray for your destiny to be as shining as the stars.” I was reciting Surah Al-Fatiha besides her bed when with eyes still closed, she raised her hand a little and said in what seemed like a whisper, “Aaishah!” I jumped to my feet and took her hand in mine. That was the last word she said during her coma. I came back to Sargodha, my home at 2.30 pm to prepare for my final university exam the very next day and decided to return to the hospital in Islamabad soon after the exam was over. But how very tactless we are, before His throne.
“You plan and Allah also plans and surely, He is the best of planners.”(Al-quran) At 3.30 pm my cousin was telling me on the phone that khala had left us. I screamed, “No you’re lying! Where is she? Tell me!” and there she was, wrapped in a white coffin with a rosy smile on her lips. After a long fight with cancer, she was at last, at ease!
I has vowed to myself not to complain “God! Why her?” and now came the time of fulfilling my vow. With tears in my eyes, I lay down my head in prostration and said:
How helpless we are before You, how very helpless! Thy will be done, my Lord! As always, Thy will be done!
It was one of those melancholy evenings and when I reached that particular place, I fell my entity being drowned in ice-cold water. It was an inexplicable hollowness, as if some part of me had suddenly become void, vacant, and vacuous. I stood frozen, bewildered. It fell as if some unknown force was wringing my heart and draining even the last drop of blood out of it.
And then she came before my eyes, her fragrance; her warmth-I could feel it all! It felt as if she had never died, as if her death was all a dream-a terrible dream-and I wondered, how strange it is that although everyday, we hear about deaths, blasts, tragedies yet when someone very dear dies, it feels beyond reality, beyond logic; some fog, some dream, a mist, a haze! With that a tsunami of WHYS, IFS and BUTS came in my mind.
It seems just yesterday when khala lay in the ICU of the Oncology Department. Those four days were the hardest of my life. How can I ever forget her state of deep coma-no sense of hunger, pain and thirst, no recognition of dear ones-a blatant resignation to the dictates of fate, helplessness like that of an infant and above all, the doctors telling, “dua karain, bohat mushkil he.”
Something in me had told me that she won’t live long but I didn’t pay heed to such voices. With eyes full of tears, I kissed her feet, her hands, and her arms that had held me in infancy. With that came a flood of reminiscences. How we laughed together at the most weird things, how she would catch me at my words, how I would empty the long suppressed tears on her shoulder, how just one word of hers “Aaish!” would make me feel so good, how much she admired my poetry and would often say “I smell a rat in your verses” and I would just smile. Ah…that’s life!
She was my best friend, my sister, my mother, my fairy. She would often say in the most affectionate manner, “I pray for your destiny to be as shining as the stars.” I was reciting Surah Al-Fatiha besides her bed when with eyes still closed, she raised her hand a little and said in what seemed like a whisper, “Aaishah!” I jumped to my feet and took her hand in mine. That was the last word she said during her coma. I came back to Sargodha, my home at 2.30 pm to prepare for my final university exam the very next day and decided to return to the hospital in Islamabad soon after the exam was over. But how very tactless we are, before His throne.
“You plan and Allah also plans and surely, He is the best of planners.”(Al-quran) At 3.30 pm my cousin was telling me on the phone that khala had left us. I screamed, “No you’re lying! Where is she? Tell me!” and there she was, wrapped in a white coffin with a rosy smile on her lips. After a long fight with cancer, she was at last, at ease!
I has vowed to myself not to complain “God! Why her?” and now came the time of fulfilling my vow. With tears in my eyes, I lay down my head in prostration and said:
How helpless we are before You, how very helpless! Thy will be done, my Lord! As always, Thy will be done!
(This pic is hers-fresh and beautiful, as the morning dew,a few months before she was diagnosed with Cancer. May her soul rest in peace.)
Buddha by Karen Armstrong
Since quite long, I was in search of a book on Buddha. Luckily, a few weeks before, I found this book in one of my favorite bookstores and it has proved to be worth its price.
Buddhism is a faith that embraces over three hundred and fifty million followers throughout the world. Buddha stands with Socrates, Confucius and Lao Tzu as one who revolutionized the religious ideas of his time to advocate a new way of living. All that is known about Buddha comes from a collection of ancient writings that fuse history, biography and myth. Karen Armstrong distils from these sources, the chief events of Buddha’s life and introduces the key tenets of Buddhism. Folks! This book is a magnificent introduction to the life and thoughts of this most influential of religious thinkers.
Those interested in yoga will find this book extremely interesting because it tells that unlike the modern people who practice yoga in order to feel better and live a more normal life, the ancient yogins didn’t embark on this path too achieve these goals. They wanted to abolish normality and wipe out their mundane self. Many people think that Buddha started yoga. This book proves the concept wrong as yoga was being practiced centuries before Buddha was born. Buddha only modified it to make human beings more conscious of themselves and bring their dim intuition into the clear light of the day. The disciplines of yoga were designed to destroy the unconscious impediments to enlightenment and to decondition the human personality. Once that had been achieved, yogins believed that they could at last become one with their true self, which was Unconditioned, Absolute and Eternal.
And yes, many of you will come across a lot of familiar terms in this book like dhamma, yama, ahimsa, sukkha, dukkha, praktri, nibbana and parinibbana. ‘Buddha’ is a brief description of the tale of Buddha’s renunciation, quest, enlightenment, dhamma, mission and finally parinibbana. The way Armstrong depicts the spiritual conquest of the people of Gotama’s time is very interesting. Buddha was ‘The Happy Prince’ who lived in the palace of ‘Sans Souci’ yet the way he comes across the miseries of this world is thought provoking.
In short, it is a fascinating book and it is hard to imagine a more concise introduction to one of the word’s most influential yet shadowy spiritual figure.
Buddhism is a faith that embraces over three hundred and fifty million followers throughout the world. Buddha stands with Socrates, Confucius and Lao Tzu as one who revolutionized the religious ideas of his time to advocate a new way of living. All that is known about Buddha comes from a collection of ancient writings that fuse history, biography and myth. Karen Armstrong distils from these sources, the chief events of Buddha’s life and introduces the key tenets of Buddhism. Folks! This book is a magnificent introduction to the life and thoughts of this most influential of religious thinkers.
Those interested in yoga will find this book extremely interesting because it tells that unlike the modern people who practice yoga in order to feel better and live a more normal life, the ancient yogins didn’t embark on this path too achieve these goals. They wanted to abolish normality and wipe out their mundane self. Many people think that Buddha started yoga. This book proves the concept wrong as yoga was being practiced centuries before Buddha was born. Buddha only modified it to make human beings more conscious of themselves and bring their dim intuition into the clear light of the day. The disciplines of yoga were designed to destroy the unconscious impediments to enlightenment and to decondition the human personality. Once that had been achieved, yogins believed that they could at last become one with their true self, which was Unconditioned, Absolute and Eternal.
And yes, many of you will come across a lot of familiar terms in this book like dhamma, yama, ahimsa, sukkha, dukkha, praktri, nibbana and parinibbana. ‘Buddha’ is a brief description of the tale of Buddha’s renunciation, quest, enlightenment, dhamma, mission and finally parinibbana. The way Armstrong depicts the spiritual conquest of the people of Gotama’s time is very interesting. Buddha was ‘The Happy Prince’ who lived in the palace of ‘Sans Souci’ yet the way he comes across the miseries of this world is thought provoking.
In short, it is a fascinating book and it is hard to imagine a more concise introduction to one of the word’s most influential yet shadowy spiritual figure.
Tales Of Eternity
When I meet you again…
A garland of flowers,
In your hair I shall place
And in your neck,
A locket of shining love
With our hands in hands
And fingers entwined
We shall sing together-silvery melodies
I shall be yours and you shall be mine
With God at our side
None shall part us…
I shall bring you gifts
Of eternal happiness and peace
In gardens of bliss,
I shall blow a heavenly kiss,
Upon your radiant forehead
To kiss away all your pains…
And you shall show me around
Your Blissful Home…
Daisies, pansies, asphodels
Tulips, sunflowers, lilies and roses
All that you loved, will be yours
No tears, no sighs and no goodbyes
None shall part us…
We shall sing and dance
As if in a trance
We’ll shout and cry
And scream and dream
We’ll do all forbidden to us
By this world-so mean!
In rubies and gold
Emeralds and pearls
In sapphires and topaz
Diamond and corals
I shall dress you….
And upon a throne of ivory,
You shall sit…
And I shall watch you
As the beams of sun
Shall illumine and glow
Your gems and you…no tears shall flow
All shall depart….
Us-none shall part
You shall wear the finest silk
Woven with the threads of joy
I shall watch its flairs
Gently rubbing the grass…
Your feet shall be cooled
By the morning dew…
Birds shall sing for you--------
Robbins, sparrows, skylarks
Nightingales, cuckoos and thrushes
None shall bid adieu…
Us-none shall part
In rains, we shall bathe
And in breezes, stand.
Your lips shall always wear
A golden smile…
That shall never sink
In the depths of Nile…
The rainbow shall be yours
And all beautiful things
And whatever you shall touch
Will turn into gold…
To our desires, we shall mould
Everything, in our arms’ hold
Together we shall live,
In lands unheard of
In tales untold…
A garland of flowers,
In your hair I shall place
And in your neck,
A locket of shining love
With our hands in hands
And fingers entwined
We shall sing together-silvery melodies
I shall be yours and you shall be mine
With God at our side
None shall part us…
I shall bring you gifts
Of eternal happiness and peace
In gardens of bliss,
I shall blow a heavenly kiss,
Upon your radiant forehead
To kiss away all your pains…
And you shall show me around
Your Blissful Home…
Daisies, pansies, asphodels
Tulips, sunflowers, lilies and roses
All that you loved, will be yours
No tears, no sighs and no goodbyes
None shall part us…
We shall sing and dance
As if in a trance
We’ll shout and cry
And scream and dream
We’ll do all forbidden to us
By this world-so mean!
In rubies and gold
Emeralds and pearls
In sapphires and topaz
Diamond and corals
I shall dress you….
And upon a throne of ivory,
You shall sit…
And I shall watch you
As the beams of sun
Shall illumine and glow
Your gems and you…no tears shall flow
All shall depart….
Us-none shall part
You shall wear the finest silk
Woven with the threads of joy
I shall watch its flairs
Gently rubbing the grass…
Your feet shall be cooled
By the morning dew…
Birds shall sing for you--------
Robbins, sparrows, skylarks
Nightingales, cuckoos and thrushes
None shall bid adieu…
Us-none shall part
In rains, we shall bathe
And in breezes, stand.
Your lips shall always wear
A golden smile…
That shall never sink
In the depths of Nile…
The rainbow shall be yours
And all beautiful things
And whatever you shall touch
Will turn into gold…
To our desires, we shall mould
Everything, in our arms’ hold
Together we shall live,
In lands unheard of
In tales untold…
Ode To A Bird
O my little bird!
Where art thou?
For thy heavenly songs
I dost implore
In thy innocent pleasures
I seek delight
And want thee always
Before my sight
Thy melodious chirping
O I can hear
In lands solitary
When I have fears!
Being so little
Thou understand not my pains
Neither can extinguish the gargantuan flames
For thou art a free bird
Of the rains…
Still, thou dost lift
Curtains dreary, from a happy life
And that momentous pleasure
For me becomes-a priceless treasure
Sing my bird! Sing!
Sing as long as I live
Cease not thy song!Let it spread…
May God grant you a long, long life
May the strings you fife upon, always survive.
Where art thou?
For thy heavenly songs
I dost implore
In thy innocent pleasures
I seek delight
And want thee always
Before my sight
Thy melodious chirping
O I can hear
In lands solitary
When I have fears!
Being so little
Thou understand not my pains
Neither can extinguish the gargantuan flames
For thou art a free bird
Of the rains…
Still, thou dost lift
Curtains dreary, from a happy life
And that momentous pleasure
For me becomes-a priceless treasure
Sing my bird! Sing!
Sing as long as I live
Cease not thy song!Let it spread…
May God grant you a long, long life
May the strings you fife upon, always survive.
Penitence
Either I am lost, in the pain of my self
Or I have slept under the coverlet of thy angst
Since ages I was a rambler
In the radiance of your faith
In your love, your sweetness, your myth
I devoted my obsession, my poetry to you
My songs, my mornings, my nights to you
Thy pain, worldly pain was my only cry
From your door to your porthole
I could only fly
But in a split second, a blast
Held me, my life
It woke me up from the hallucination of my life
On every parchment of my thought
I could hear the cloudburst of tears
My profundity showed me unbounded fears
Slashed bodies, stunned faces
Insipid, wrecked, sapped faces
I was dazed, along with my words
To see Messiah himself, the god of tormentors
These torturing, tormenting sights
Crammed me with dread
Blood instead of ink, was ubiquitously spread
Hither were the mountains of worldly pain
Thither human lips, with blood were stained
It was in these noises
That I lost my love
Every yearning, pining, prayer
Was covered with a glove
It is now that I need to engrave
About something other than you
I have to inscribe about the pain of life
In me, you will always find salvation
I will always be there to fill you
In the lap of my affection
I will make penitence for my love
But I wont be able to make amends
For the prayers of life
I wont be left with time
To do it later…
I have to do it now…now
Before it’s too late
Release my words from the shackles
Of your affection
Set me free….oh set me free!
Or I have slept under the coverlet of thy angst
Since ages I was a rambler
In the radiance of your faith
In your love, your sweetness, your myth
I devoted my obsession, my poetry to you
My songs, my mornings, my nights to you
Thy pain, worldly pain was my only cry
From your door to your porthole
I could only fly
But in a split second, a blast
Held me, my life
It woke me up from the hallucination of my life
On every parchment of my thought
I could hear the cloudburst of tears
My profundity showed me unbounded fears
Slashed bodies, stunned faces
Insipid, wrecked, sapped faces
I was dazed, along with my words
To see Messiah himself, the god of tormentors
These torturing, tormenting sights
Crammed me with dread
Blood instead of ink, was ubiquitously spread
Hither were the mountains of worldly pain
Thither human lips, with blood were stained
It was in these noises
That I lost my love
Every yearning, pining, prayer
Was covered with a glove
It is now that I need to engrave
About something other than you
I have to inscribe about the pain of life
In me, you will always find salvation
I will always be there to fill you
In the lap of my affection
I will make penitence for my love
But I wont be able to make amends
For the prayers of life
I wont be left with time
To do it later…
I have to do it now…now
Before it’s too late
Release my words from the shackles
Of your affection
Set me free….oh set me free!
Oh Lord!
Oh lord!
See how my pen quivers
As I begin to write for You
For words fall worthless
What am I?
But a speck of dust before Thy glory
But I can boast off my luck
For I am Thy creation
Oh Lord!
You reside in the realms of my soul
Thou art beauty, glory, sanctity, and sublimity
Thou art beyond wordily description
Oh Lord!
Let me sip from the wine of Thy love
And let me calm my burning lips
I tremble, I fear
For I am too low a creature
And my beloved so great
Oh Lord!Though I am living in nothingness
Yet deny me not a share of Thy love
Give me the honor of tracing Thy glorious steps
I am weak and I fear
I may not praise You too well
For Thou art beyond expression, beyond exaltation
Oh lord!
I plea thee, for the immensity of my heart
So I can replete it with Thy love
How ignorant I am
For I boast off of worldly love
Give me the reason, the valor
To elevate myself, with Thy love
Sow a seed of your love
In my heart, my soul
For I want to spend my life
Caring, honoring, pruning it
Oh Lord!
Here I am, head and heart
Ready to suffer at love’s threshing-floor
Sift me of my sins
For I want to be Yours, Yours and Yours
Thou grant and I beg
Fill my hollow self
Alleviate this suffering
Hush this painful rattling
Mollify this agitated heart
Thou art light and I am the resident of darkness
Enlighten my existence
For I want Thy holy flame to burn inside me
Forever and ever
See how my pen quivers
As I begin to write for You
For words fall worthless
What am I?
But a speck of dust before Thy glory
But I can boast off my luck
For I am Thy creation
Oh Lord!
You reside in the realms of my soul
Thou art beauty, glory, sanctity, and sublimity
Thou art beyond wordily description
Oh Lord!
Let me sip from the wine of Thy love
And let me calm my burning lips
I tremble, I fear
For I am too low a creature
And my beloved so great
Oh Lord!Though I am living in nothingness
Yet deny me not a share of Thy love
Give me the honor of tracing Thy glorious steps
I am weak and I fear
I may not praise You too well
For Thou art beyond expression, beyond exaltation
Oh lord!
I plea thee, for the immensity of my heart
So I can replete it with Thy love
How ignorant I am
For I boast off of worldly love
Give me the reason, the valor
To elevate myself, with Thy love
Sow a seed of your love
In my heart, my soul
For I want to spend my life
Caring, honoring, pruning it
Oh Lord!
Here I am, head and heart
Ready to suffer at love’s threshing-floor
Sift me of my sins
For I want to be Yours, Yours and Yours
Thou grant and I beg
Fill my hollow self
Alleviate this suffering
Hush this painful rattling
Mollify this agitated heart
Thou art light and I am the resident of darkness
Enlighten my existence
For I want Thy holy flame to burn inside me
Forever and ever
A Downright State Of Emptiness
A downright state of emptiness
Prevails in this vale
Ah- the rain is still there
Beating against my porthole
But this time it makes painful memoirs
The torrent produces melancholic melodies
The clouds are perhaps my saviors
For they camouflage my afflictions
By hiding my tears in the raindrops
A downright state of emptiness
A bellow of thunder and lightening
And noises
The hush of my once non-violent soul
Has departed it seems
For this dwelling of my spirit
Quivers with tremulous jerks, dreadful eruptions
Spring has departed
And now I am entangled in autumn
All rapture is leaving me like a yellow leaf
Withered and no longer needed
A downright state of emptiness
My fellows in this expedition
To an unknown destination
Though once familiar
Seem so distance; so strange
A downright state of emptiness
Rivers surge ah yes! They still do
Flowers bloom, birds sing, winds gush
But all of a sudden
Everything seems futile-life itself!
A downright state of emptiness
Every creation seems to be in a trauma
In bewilderment, in atonement
The air is mute; the birds are mute
My heart, my mind, my soul
All are mute and life
Which once sang and danced-is mute
A downright state of emptiness
I can hear the shrieks of pain
I can hears screams and rattling
For pain and melancholy
Are echoing within me
I am void; I am vacant; I am vacuous
I seem to be having everything and yet
That one absence makes me unfilled
Makes me hollow; makes me incomplete
The absence of that one voice in the choir
Makes the entire congregation futile
The absence of that one companion
Makes the whole journey futile
My life without that one shadow
Is utter pain; is desolation
Oh my liberator! My comrade! My redeemer!
I seem to be having everything and yet
That one absence makes me empty
Prevails in this vale
Ah- the rain is still there
Beating against my porthole
But this time it makes painful memoirs
The torrent produces melancholic melodies
The clouds are perhaps my saviors
For they camouflage my afflictions
By hiding my tears in the raindrops
A downright state of emptiness
A bellow of thunder and lightening
And noises
The hush of my once non-violent soul
Has departed it seems
For this dwelling of my spirit
Quivers with tremulous jerks, dreadful eruptions
Spring has departed
And now I am entangled in autumn
All rapture is leaving me like a yellow leaf
Withered and no longer needed
A downright state of emptiness
My fellows in this expedition
To an unknown destination
Though once familiar
Seem so distance; so strange
A downright state of emptiness
Rivers surge ah yes! They still do
Flowers bloom, birds sing, winds gush
But all of a sudden
Everything seems futile-life itself!
A downright state of emptiness
Every creation seems to be in a trauma
In bewilderment, in atonement
The air is mute; the birds are mute
My heart, my mind, my soul
All are mute and life
Which once sang and danced-is mute
A downright state of emptiness
I can hear the shrieks of pain
I can hears screams and rattling
For pain and melancholy
Are echoing within me
I am void; I am vacant; I am vacuous
I seem to be having everything and yet
That one absence makes me unfilled
Makes me hollow; makes me incomplete
The absence of that one voice in the choir
Makes the entire congregation futile
The absence of that one companion
Makes the whole journey futile
My life without that one shadow
Is utter pain; is desolation
Oh my liberator! My comrade! My redeemer!
I seem to be having everything and yet
That one absence makes me empty
A Hymn Of Painful Love
Oh God! My Lord; The Almighty!
Glimpse at Your feet
It’s me, your subservient being
Kneeling down; kissing Thy ground
Bowing my head in Thy reverence
Thy will be done, my Lord
But listen; understand
Heed to this petition of Thy servant
Thou createst us with love
But oh my Sovereign Lord
It is through love that Thy creation
Dost destroyeth themselves
Thou make us feel love
Through the smothering hands of nature
It was with love that Thou nourished us
In our mothers’ wombs
Thou made us understand love
Through Thy blessings
Through the concern of our fathers
Through the love of our mothers
Through the voice of our beloveds
Thou gave us love
As a sentiment, distinct from all
Love-Thy holy water through which
We could rinse our sins
Love-Thy silk robe with which
We could hide our nakedness
Love-A monastery, a mandir, a mosque
Where we could seek asylum
Irrespective of our faith, cast and creed
Love-A wind that could quiver
The strings of our hearts
And produce silvery melodies
Love-A path that could lead us
To Thy beautiful kingdom
Love-A beacon that could enlighten our profundity
Love-A fire that could melt the stoniest cores
Love-The downpour of heaven
That could fertilize the barren land of our emotions
Love-An inspiration that guideth the Prophets
But….
This isn’t love to us any more
This isn’t how we perceive love
Love is that deadly dream that awoke me
Last night and it dawned upon me
Love has begun to lose
Its purity and sanctity
It’s approached in the name of lust
My Lord! My eternal refuge!
My tormented entity was shaking and screaming
Love-Thy holy water that we stigmatized
Thy silk robe that we teareth
That hidest not anything
But exposes our nakedness
Not a monastery, a mosque, a mandir
But ruins… mourning death of humanity
Trapped air, suffocation and death
A path forgotten and lost
An obscurity whose shadows engulf
Our bodies and murder our profundity
A fire that blazeth our homes
A downpour of acid that gives
Nothing but non-healing sores; rejuvenating wounds
An ignorance that led people to stone the Prophets
Love-Bloodshed, torture, assassination
Depravity, denial, crucifixion
My Lord! Take me in Thy hands
Let me take refuge in You
Draw a curtain, a veil my Lord!
Grant a share of Thy light to my eyes
Let me see only the purity
And sanctity of love
The reverent, devout love-Eternal beauty, my Lord!
Love that bows not in front of humanity
But love that is spiritual exaltation and elevation
Glimpse at Your feet
It’s me, your subservient being
Kneeling down; kissing Thy ground
Bowing my head in Thy reverence
Thy will be done, my Lord
But listen; understand
Heed to this petition of Thy servant
Thou createst us with love
But oh my Sovereign Lord
It is through love that Thy creation
Dost destroyeth themselves
Thou make us feel love
Through the smothering hands of nature
It was with love that Thou nourished us
In our mothers’ wombs
Thou made us understand love
Through Thy blessings
Through the concern of our fathers
Through the love of our mothers
Through the voice of our beloveds
Thou gave us love
As a sentiment, distinct from all
Love-Thy holy water through which
We could rinse our sins
Love-Thy silk robe with which
We could hide our nakedness
Love-A monastery, a mandir, a mosque
Where we could seek asylum
Irrespective of our faith, cast and creed
Love-A wind that could quiver
The strings of our hearts
And produce silvery melodies
Love-A path that could lead us
To Thy beautiful kingdom
Love-A beacon that could enlighten our profundity
Love-A fire that could melt the stoniest cores
Love-The downpour of heaven
That could fertilize the barren land of our emotions
Love-An inspiration that guideth the Prophets
But….
This isn’t love to us any more
This isn’t how we perceive love
Love is that deadly dream that awoke me
Last night and it dawned upon me
Love has begun to lose
Its purity and sanctity
It’s approached in the name of lust
My Lord! My eternal refuge!
My tormented entity was shaking and screaming
Love-Thy holy water that we stigmatized
Thy silk robe that we teareth
That hidest not anything
But exposes our nakedness
Not a monastery, a mosque, a mandir
But ruins… mourning death of humanity
Trapped air, suffocation and death
A path forgotten and lost
An obscurity whose shadows engulf
Our bodies and murder our profundity
A fire that blazeth our homes
A downpour of acid that gives
Nothing but non-healing sores; rejuvenating wounds
An ignorance that led people to stone the Prophets
Love-Bloodshed, torture, assassination
Depravity, denial, crucifixion
My Lord! Take me in Thy hands
Let me take refuge in You
Draw a curtain, a veil my Lord!
Grant a share of Thy light to my eyes
Let me see only the purity
And sanctity of love
The reverent, devout love-Eternal beauty, my Lord!
Love that bows not in front of humanity
But love that is spiritual exaltation and elevation
The Secluded Phantom Of My Soul
I wish to tell you that it is you
A mythical image I once not realized
A thought concealed in my heart, my mind
You were the phantom, of my curious soul
A secluded passion that was then recognized
Yes, you were there
When I didn’t even know you
You were the serene wind that blew my hair
The sanctity that my soul bears
You were the smiles my face used to wear
The very warmth of my tears
The sounds of optimism I used to hear
When the pains were all difficult to bear
You are a mystic from whom I learnt
When you are loved, you can do anything in creation
Anything, beyond expectations, behind imagination
When you are loved, there is no need of understanding
What’s happening outside
For love is a world deep inside
And deep inside this sanctuary of mine
I hear a voice with sweetness divine
Without one another, you are none
Two corporal beings but soul one
Oh thou art my treasured possession
The sublimity of my only obsession
This relationship between you and I
Is like the one between man and glee
I can neither see happiness nor can I visualize
I can only feel, the serenity it brings
And so art thee
The serene song of my soul
This relationship between you and me
Is like the one between man and sorrow
I can neither see sorrow nor can I visualize
I can only feel, the pain it brings
And so art thee
The beauty of sorrow that penetrates my heart
This relationship between you and me
Is like the one between man and thirst
I can neither see thirst nor can I visualize
I can only feel, the passion it brings
And so art thee
A passion that quenches my eternal thirst
And after all this, haven’t thee realized
That this relationship between you and I
Is like between man and God
I can’t see God neither can you
I can’t touch Him neither can you
But we can feel Him, in our heart our soul
And so can we
See each other; visualize each other
Touch each other, feel each other, within us
For we are not two worlds apart
We are one soul, unified by Him
In triumph and in failure
A mythical image I once not realized
A thought concealed in my heart, my mind
You were the phantom, of my curious soul
A secluded passion that was then recognized
Yes, you were there
When I didn’t even know you
You were the serene wind that blew my hair
The sanctity that my soul bears
You were the smiles my face used to wear
The very warmth of my tears
The sounds of optimism I used to hear
When the pains were all difficult to bear
You are a mystic from whom I learnt
When you are loved, you can do anything in creation
Anything, beyond expectations, behind imagination
When you are loved, there is no need of understanding
What’s happening outside
For love is a world deep inside
And deep inside this sanctuary of mine
I hear a voice with sweetness divine
Without one another, you are none
Two corporal beings but soul one
Oh thou art my treasured possession
The sublimity of my only obsession
This relationship between you and I
Is like the one between man and glee
I can neither see happiness nor can I visualize
I can only feel, the serenity it brings
And so art thee
The serene song of my soul
This relationship between you and me
Is like the one between man and sorrow
I can neither see sorrow nor can I visualize
I can only feel, the pain it brings
And so art thee
The beauty of sorrow that penetrates my heart
This relationship between you and me
Is like the one between man and thirst
I can neither see thirst nor can I visualize
I can only feel, the passion it brings
And so art thee
A passion that quenches my eternal thirst
And after all this, haven’t thee realized
That this relationship between you and I
Is like between man and God
I can’t see God neither can you
I can’t touch Him neither can you
But we can feel Him, in our heart our soul
And so can we
See each other; visualize each other
Touch each other, feel each other, within us
For we are not two worlds apart
We are one soul, unified by Him
In triumph and in failure
Turn Me Into An Autumn Leaf
Take me in Thy hands
And caress me
For I am vulnerable to die
Even by a tender touch
Or else turn me into stone; a feeling less entity
For I can no longer bear
This heavy burden of pain
Call me to my Eternal home
Before my tongue dares to utter
The wish of bereavement
Oh God-The Everlasting!!!!
And caress me
For I am vulnerable to die
Even by a tender touch
Or else turn me into stone; a feeling less entity
For I can no longer bear
This heavy burden of pain
Call me to my Eternal home
Before my tongue dares to utter
The wish of bereavement
Oh God-The Everlasting!!!!
Woe Of A Girl
I aspire to have been been
Below this six feet ground
Away from quandaries and tortures
For a one-time demise
Is preferable
To dying every other day
I wish I had been
One of those daughters of Arabia
Who were given to death
The very day they were born
Who suffered pains but once
Who were slain but once
Death of infancy
Father’s discrepancy
Society’s malignancy
All but once
But today I subsist
Though I am dead within
Every night I am made to wade
Through a teary tide
I am sorrow’s bride
And in my womb I hide
Conceptions of tomorrow
Children of torture, repression and sorrow
Below this six feet ground
Away from quandaries and tortures
For a one-time demise
Is preferable
To dying every other day
I wish I had been
One of those daughters of Arabia
Who were given to death
The very day they were born
Who suffered pains but once
Who were slain but once
Death of infancy
Father’s discrepancy
Society’s malignancy
All but once
But today I subsist
Though I am dead within
Every night I am made to wade
Through a teary tide
I am sorrow’s bride
And in my womb I hide
Conceptions of tomorrow
Children of torture, repression and sorrow
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